- Practice gratitude
Those who read my blogs regularly may be thinking… again? The gratitude thing?
Gratitude is one of the most overlooked tools that everyone has access to every single moment of every day. It doesn’t cost money and it certainly doesn’t take much time, but the benefits are enormous. Research has shown that gratitude helps improve relationships, our physical and psychological health, it enhances empathy and reduces aggression, helps you to sleep better and improves overall self-esteem.
- Don’t give your power away
When you allow other people’s words or actions to upset or unsettle you, you’re giving away your power. Try to RESPOND rather than REACT.
- Accept new challenges
But calculate risks. Weigh up the risks and benefits before taking action and be prepared to take responsibility.
- Set healthy boundaries
And there are many to consider:
- Material boundaries – giving or lending things that belong to you, such as money, your car, clothes, books etc.
- Physical boundaries – Your personal space.
- Mental boundaries – Your thoughts, values, and opinions.
- Emotional boundaries – Separating your emotions from someone else’s. Healthy boundaries prevent you from giving advice, blaming or accepting blame and protect you from feelings of guilt regarding someone else’s negative feelings or problems.
- Sexual boundaries – protect your comfort level with sexual touch and activity – what, where, when, and with whom.
- Spiritual boundaries – Your spiritual beliefs and experiences
- Make peace with the past
Refuse to let old patterns run you in the present day. The past is the past and cannot be undone or changed, however you can choose to reframe it, learn from it and move on. Many people feel as though their past is holding them back in some way, if that’s you, you’re not alone. Letting go of the past doesn’t mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls your life.
- Accept responsibility for your life
Making excuses instead of taking responsibility for your actions, thoughts, and choices will most likely result in failure to succeed in both your professional and personal life. No one can live your life for you. You are in charge. Blaming others for the events of your life is fruitless, take control and responsibility as everything is the result of the choices you make going forward.
- Stay true to your values
Every one of us is different. We have our own values, morals and principals and it is perfectly reasonable to expect to stay true to them without fear of being put down. Know your core values, be firm, be consistent, don’t preach or allow yourself to be preached to.
- Be willing to fail (occasionally)
Don’t give up after failing. See every failure as a chance to improve.
- Enjoy some alone time
Some people view alone time as pure bliss, a time to be quiet and alone with their thoughts, a time to unwind. However for others being alone can evoke fear, anxiety and feelings of loneliness. Ease into the silence and read, paint, do a crossword or watch movies, experiment with cooking or baking. This is your time to try new things, without any distractions and if you’re really getting into the groove… try switching off your phone and computer for a while.
- Stay happy
Not as easy as it sounds? Consider what things make you feel happy. Write them down. Keep them somewhere you can see them often and then…
- Stay away from negative people.
- Choose uplifting friendships.
- Take more exercise – Exercise increases endorphins and other feel good chemicals in the brain.
- Practice mindfulness – Mindfulness is simply paying full attention to the present moment and accepting it in a non-judgmental way.
- Don’t self-ruminate.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously.
- Don’t rely on anyone else to shift your mood, heal you or fill your empty spaces.
- Try hypnosis. Either one to one hypnotherapy with a highly respected fully registered Clinical Hypnotherapist (aka my good-self) or you can always download a generic self-hypnosis audio recording from the internet.
Gail Marra D.Hyp MNCH (Acc) LAPHP is a GHR registered Clinical Hypnotherapist accredited by the National Council for Hypnotherapy, Association for Professional Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, National Register of Psychotherapists and Counsellors and the Complimentary and Natural Healthcare Council
10 Harley Street, London W1G 9PF Tel: 020 7873 2051
The Chilston Clinic, Royal Tunbridge Wells TN4 8RA Tel: 01892 513535