Why don’t more men ask for help?


Although men are aware that it’s good to talk, they can still be a little uncomfortable doing so.

Men are less likely to seek counselling or therapy than women, less likely to visit their doctor or health practitioner.

Ruth Sutherland CEO of the Samaritans said “Just 19 percent of men feel that they can talk to other people about their problems.”

There are numerous factors contributing to this for instance the way many boys were and are brought up, learned behaviour by observing male family members or peers and indeed what society deems as being manly and so grow up to believe that struggling to cope is a sign of weakness.

“Big boys don’t cry” “don’t be such a girl” phrases such as these are deeply ingrained into our society. Asking for help can make a man feel vulnerable, less independent and not in control.

Throughout history men and boys are depicted as tough guys, heroes, fighters, aggressors, we need only look at the movie industry.


Think of Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger or GOT’s Drogo, warlord of the Dothraki the fierce warriors skilled in battle, unrelenting in combat and known for their unyielding savagery. It would be fair to say that most people wouldn’t think of these men as being in touch with their emotional side, in fact you might imagine the following conversation…

You: Hey Drogo I hear your wife and childhood sweetheart left you for your best friend your house burned down and your dog died…

Drogo: Yup

You: Want to go drink beer and kill a couple of dragons?

Drogo: Yup


Consequently men and boys often suppress their feelings and emotions, ignore them, pass them off as a nuisance or try to solve them alone. But some issues can be utterly overwhelming and failure to address them could lead to depression, breakdowns or worse.

Emotions like fear and pride are often at the root. Self-worth and self-respect prevent a lot of men from asking for help. Men often worry that just by admitting they feel overwhelmed will be a blow to their self-esteem, they’ll crumble and be left feeling helpless, useless and unworthy.

If you’ve ever shied away from asking for help for fear of seeming weak and so just ‘tough it out’, you’re not alone.

The good news is that studies have shown that asking for help or advice on health, relationship, family, finance or career matters makes you happier, healthier, more successful and have better relationships overall.

Seeking help is a sign of strength. Getting help is empowering, it opens your mind to fresh ideas and perspectives on how to solve problems that you may otherwise not have considered.

Hypnotherapy is a wonderful way in which to hit that mental re-set button – a system reboot for your mind. A course of hypnotherapy can help you to rewire old negative beliefs patterns, behaviors and responses, lead a happier healthier more productive and positive life.

Get in touch today.

Gail Marra D.Hyp MNCH (Acc) LAPHP is a GHR registered Clinical Hypnotherapist accredited by the National Council for Hypnotherapy, Association for Professional Hypnosis and Psychotherapy, National Register of Psychotherapists and Counsellors and the Complimentary and Natural Healthcare Council

10 Harley Street, London W1G 9PF      Tel: 020 7873 2051

The Chilston Clinic, Royal Tunbridge Wells TN4 8RA      Tel: 01892 513535




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